Do you believe in hell on earth? My wife Daleen does. She believes it's called Bass Pro Shops.
My birthday was last week. For some reason, every year my birthday ends up being a week-long string of activities. One night it was a birthday dinner at our house. Then one night it was birthday cake with our small group from church. Tonight it was a dinner at my parents house and now I am at home with a leftover piece of my birthday cake (homemade carrot cake if you must know.) I know I'm getting fat from this, but hey, it's my birthday. Anyway, we usually also try and do a date night during the birthday week where I get to decide where I want to go. This year I chose Bass Pro Shops.
This fall Bass Pro Shops opened a gigantic store called "Outdoor World" just north of Richmond. It has everything for any kind of outdoor sporting activity: fishing, hunting, camping, boating, you name it. The also have some specialized parts such as a food store and NASCAR area with merchandising and auto racing video games. And this store is absolutely mind-boggling in its size. Inside they have huge fish-tanks with a waterfall, an archery range, and a boat dealership.
As many of you know, I am into just about everything having to do with the great outdoors. If it involves being in the woods or away from civilization, I am probably severely into it. Daleen did not really know this about me when we met, sort of started figuring it out when we lived in Boston, and then really found out when we moved back to VA and I reconnected with old friends. What I'm getting at here is, Bass Pro Shops is huge and it doesn't have anything I do not want.
But you are probably wondering how going to BPS can be like going on a "date". Ah-ha, because like IKEA, they have a restaurant at the store. They even have a restaurant Daleen likes going to. The Islamorada Fish Company. Daleen's sister used to live in Ft. Lauderdale and took us to the one at her BPS. We both liked the food, so going there was an easy sell for me.
On the drive over from our house, I said I figured we probably wouldn't have to wait very long at the restaurant. This was after Daleen tells me she is starving. My reasoning was that I was certain there wouldn't be hordes of people going to a restaurant at a sporting goods store for a Friday night date. I mean, who does that? Then after we were told there was an hour and forty-five minute wait, I then understood..... lots of people do that.
I will say that I am a good guy and gave her the option to go to dinner elsewhere. But I have to confess, I was extremely happy when in a quiet voice she said, "no we can just go look around first until our table is ready". What a woman!
We spent an hour walking around the store. BPS has racks of outdoorsy junk food such as trail mix, pork rinds, and beef jerky. Daleen was starting to look faint so I suggested several times that we just buy some to snack on. She repeatedly said no as she didn't want to ruin her appetite. Meanwhile, we looked at everything from boats to crossbows. From boots to binoculars. I mean everything.
The best part of the trip though was the people watching. There was the widest variety of people I have ever seen there. By the fishing rods, there were guys in very expensive suits standing next to guys who looked like hobos in bib overalls. Then, you know the kind of moms who go over the top and try and look more trendy than their high-school kids? There was one of those checking out a big bag of deer corn feed with her teenage daughter. Wierd... Then I was over in the gun section when I overheard this sort of older ex-hippie lady talking to the guy behind the counter about handguns. She had a ton of questions about which one would be best for her and she was very animated and overwhelmed by all of the choices and options. The best one of the night though was a man and his young son, dressed from head to toe in camoflauge (store tags still attached) just walking through the store like they were heading to the fishing section. I couldn't help but wonder where were they going, and where on earth were the clothes they came to the store in?
By the end of the hour, Daleen was sagging and dragging her feet and looked like I do when going clothing shopping with her. She had been through enough torture. Our table still wasn't ready (they really meant an hour and a half), so we were able to get a chair at the bar and after a cold drink and a plate of loaded potato chips (think a plate of loaded nachos but with chips), she quickly recovered.
In the end, dinner was good... not great. The clam chowder was dissappointing (it was a VERY thick grey-brown substance), the calamari was insanely spicy, and our server was continuously apologising for every little thing. We had to repeatedly tell her she was fine and she shouldn't worry. The tuna was excellent though and everything was reasonably priced.
Daleen survived the evening and has since fully recovered. She's not ready to go back anytime soon and I'm ok with that. I did eventually find out why the wait was so long that evening. The restaurant itself is very small. There just aren't a lot of tables. The reason? After the novelty wears off, who would go to a sporting goods store on a Friday night date?
My birthday was last week. For some reason, every year my birthday ends up being a week-long string of activities. One night it was a birthday dinner at our house. Then one night it was birthday cake with our small group from church. Tonight it was a dinner at my parents house and now I am at home with a leftover piece of my birthday cake (homemade carrot cake if you must know.) I know I'm getting fat from this, but hey, it's my birthday. Anyway, we usually also try and do a date night during the birthday week where I get to decide where I want to go. This year I chose Bass Pro Shops.
This fall Bass Pro Shops opened a gigantic store called "Outdoor World" just north of Richmond. It has everything for any kind of outdoor sporting activity: fishing, hunting, camping, boating, you name it. The also have some specialized parts such as a food store and NASCAR area with merchandising and auto racing video games. And this store is absolutely mind-boggling in its size. Inside they have huge fish-tanks with a waterfall, an archery range, and a boat dealership.
As many of you know, I am into just about everything having to do with the great outdoors. If it involves being in the woods or away from civilization, I am probably severely into it. Daleen did not really know this about me when we met, sort of started figuring it out when we lived in Boston, and then really found out when we moved back to VA and I reconnected with old friends. What I'm getting at here is, Bass Pro Shops is huge and it doesn't have anything I do not want.
But you are probably wondering how going to BPS can be like going on a "date". Ah-ha, because like IKEA, they have a restaurant at the store. They even have a restaurant Daleen likes going to. The Islamorada Fish Company. Daleen's sister used to live in Ft. Lauderdale and took us to the one at her BPS. We both liked the food, so going there was an easy sell for me.
On the drive over from our house, I said I figured we probably wouldn't have to wait very long at the restaurant. This was after Daleen tells me she is starving. My reasoning was that I was certain there wouldn't be hordes of people going to a restaurant at a sporting goods store for a Friday night date. I mean, who does that? Then after we were told there was an hour and forty-five minute wait, I then understood..... lots of people do that.
I will say that I am a good guy and gave her the option to go to dinner elsewhere. But I have to confess, I was extremely happy when in a quiet voice she said, "no we can just go look around first until our table is ready". What a woman!
We spent an hour walking around the store. BPS has racks of outdoorsy junk food such as trail mix, pork rinds, and beef jerky. Daleen was starting to look faint so I suggested several times that we just buy some to snack on. She repeatedly said no as she didn't want to ruin her appetite. Meanwhile, we looked at everything from boats to crossbows. From boots to binoculars. I mean everything.
The best part of the trip though was the people watching. There was the widest variety of people I have ever seen there. By the fishing rods, there were guys in very expensive suits standing next to guys who looked like hobos in bib overalls. Then, you know the kind of moms who go over the top and try and look more trendy than their high-school kids? There was one of those checking out a big bag of deer corn feed with her teenage daughter. Wierd... Then I was over in the gun section when I overheard this sort of older ex-hippie lady talking to the guy behind the counter about handguns. She had a ton of questions about which one would be best for her and she was very animated and overwhelmed by all of the choices and options. The best one of the night though was a man and his young son, dressed from head to toe in camoflauge (store tags still attached) just walking through the store like they were heading to the fishing section. I couldn't help but wonder where were they going, and where on earth were the clothes they came to the store in?
By the end of the hour, Daleen was sagging and dragging her feet and looked like I do when going clothing shopping with her. She had been through enough torture. Our table still wasn't ready (they really meant an hour and a half), so we were able to get a chair at the bar and after a cold drink and a plate of loaded potato chips (think a plate of loaded nachos but with chips), she quickly recovered.
In the end, dinner was good... not great. The clam chowder was dissappointing (it was a VERY thick grey-brown substance), the calamari was insanely spicy, and our server was continuously apologising for every little thing. We had to repeatedly tell her she was fine and she shouldn't worry. The tuna was excellent though and everything was reasonably priced.
Daleen survived the evening and has since fully recovered. She's not ready to go back anytime soon and I'm ok with that. I did eventually find out why the wait was so long that evening. The restaurant itself is very small. There just aren't a lot of tables. The reason? After the novelty wears off, who would go to a sporting goods store on a Friday night date?
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